Or at least until Tuesday night when I expect to see spectacularly good news that will cause me to riot in the street like the Phillies fans did last Wednesday. Oh, and the parade on Friday? It was insanity, 2.5 million people flooded the streets. I rode my bike to work down Broad Street at 9:00 am, the streets were packed and people high fived me the whole way down.
Anyway, the good news, "Women who drink a small amount of alcohol while pregnant do not increase their child's risk of behavioural problems, a study has suggested." The University College London team classed "light" drinking as up to two drinks a week throughout pregnancy.
So yeah, it's just like we all thought, that the human race would probably no longer exist if light drinking during pregnancy was totally toxic. The bad news? Two drinks a week is the most piddling condolence prize I can imagine. I dislike getting drunk, but one glass of wine? Makes me want to have two. Or three. So. Yeah. Better than nothing I guess. Also, please note that I said one makes me want to have more. I did not say that it causes me to lose control of my ability to think and causes me to get crashingly drunk.
"The study, published in the International Journal of Epidemiology, found boys born to light drinkers were 40% less likely to have conduct problems and 30% less likely to be hyperactive than those whose mothers had abstained. They also scored more highly on vocabulary tests and on identifying colours, shapes, letters and numbers. Girls born to light drinkers were 30% less likely to have emotional problems than those born to abstainers, although the researchers say this could be due to family and social backgrounds."
"Dr Yvonne Kelly, the epidemiologist who led the study, said: "Our research has found that light drinking by pregnant mothers does not increase the risk of behavioural problems and cognitive defects. The reasons behind these findings might in part be because light drinkers tend to be more socially advantaged than abstainers, rather than being due to the physical benefits of low level alcohol consumption seen, for example, in heart disease. However, it may also be that light-drinking mothers tend to be more relaxed themselves and this contributes to better behavioural and cognitive outcomes in their children."
EXACTLY. Drinking makes you a better mother. Thank you, researchers, for making my life worth living again.
Of course, some researchers still have to get all paternalistic on our asses, "But Dr Vivienne Nathanson, head of science and ethics at the British Medical Association, said: "We are concerned that the findings from the UCL study may lull women into a false sense of security and give them the green light that there is no problem with drinking during pregnancy. This is not the case. The BMA believes the simplest and safest advice is for women not to drink alcohol during pregnancy."
Women can't think for themselves! They can't count! If you tell them two drinks a week are okay, they'll go nuts! They can't handle the responsibility! Best to give them simple black and white guidelines so they don't screw things up by trying to count to two!
Now I really need that drink.
